My apologies in advance for this post, not because it contains anything offensive, just because it is damn stupid.
You may have noticed the swear word in the above sentence, if not you may need glasses.
I have been trying not to swear as much and so, I have been thinking of alternative words. But, I find that “dang” or “shoot” are just too boring and they don’t convey that special zing that the real cuss words do.
One night being exhausted and sleep deprived my mind came up with a replacement for the Shi* word. Zits. That is right, zits. It was hilarious when I was in my sleep deprived state, but seems a little stupid now that I am fully awake, but that was not enough to stop this ridiculous post, sorry.
So, to get you started I have listed below 6 common phrases that usually contain that nasty old “S” word replaced by the friendlier to the ears “Z” word. I have also provided examples on whom and how to use them. You’re welcome.
1. Exasperated father to idiot teenage son: “What is the matter with you; do you have zits for brains?”
2. Co-worker to the witch at the office: “You really think you are hot zits, don’t you?’
3. Wife to idiot husband, “I really do believe you could not tell zits from shinola!”
4. Dermatologist to unruly patient: “I think I have had enough zits out of you for one day!”
5. Lady to the jerk at the bar, “You can wipe that zit –eating grin off your face, mister!”
6. Parents dumfounded reaction to the dumb ass thing their teenager just got done uttering: “Really? No zit!”
If you read all these, you only have yourself to blame as I warned you. So do you have any replacement cuss words you use? I hope your zit is a darn site better than what I came up with!