I wrote this poem right before I divorced after 20+ years of marriage.
No scared texts
For a marriage
That died a long time ago
Would not let go
Afraid of a misery we did not know
The air was stifling
As it rotted
I tried my best
To carry on
As if the corpse
Just kept on
Covering it with flowers
The time came at last
Only bones left
And even then
Said a prayer
That no one heard
And so it ended
I am grateful today for getting back on track.
I lost a lot to depression and am coming back to a lot of things I dropped the ball on while struggling with my own selfworth.
I am writing on my blog again after almost two year absence from it.
I love writing.
I am Zumba-ing once again and I am really enjoying it.
Working on eating better, just need to tune out the bacon that keeps calls my name…
I finding the joy in little things like music, laughter, and just being more aware of things around me, and not being in my own head so much.
My discovery is : that it is not the doing that stops me, it is the thinking about the doing.
Once, I get started, things get a rhythm and it is easier to stay committed.
I truly am starting to be grateful for every moment of my life.
The Silly Redhead
Some women want to be princesses, I don’t.
Princess just sit around all day waiting for someone to rescue them.
You have to kiss frogs.
You get cursed and chased by old hags.
The prince’s only job besides rescuing you and kissing you awake is to stand there and smile a dopey smile.
Goddesses on the other hand have real power!
They turn men who displease them into frogs!
They banish bitches from their court.
And they are worshiped 24/7 by men who wait on them hand and foot.
If your going to pick a fantasy ladies, pick the right one! 😉
Just a bit of silliness from a crazy chick…
I have come to the conclusion that no one can fully understand me, my pain, my sorrows, my insecurities, and so forth and so on…
I think it is a mistake to expect people to do that.
Hell, we don’t even fully understand ourselves do we?
I am not saying I should not reach out for help.
But, I have to be ready to hear solutions and take advice and to not think I’m so different/special that nothing that works for the vast majority would ever work for me.
I’m not implying I should let people bully me, either.
Some people’s idea of giving advice is to try and bully people into doing things their way, this is hardly helpful.
It is really up to me what advice or counsel I heed or disregard.
I struggle with many things, so I get that life is very hard and when you couple that with depression or any other type of mental illness it is even harder.
But, I know in my own mind, that it is really up to me to change and not for others to change me.
It is not that easy and if it was then it would not be that big of a problem.
But, I reject the idea I cannot change and embrace all those cha…cha…changes I need to make.
Have you been facing some cha…cha…changes? How is it going?
I debated if I wanted to return to blogging or not?
It has only been about 2 years since I last posted.
Boy, time gets away from you don’t it?
I guess I could have come back earlier….
After all I am divorced , depressed, broke, and miserable.
Who wouldn’t want to read about that?
Yeah, that was sarcasm.
Sure I will keep trying…
You don’t have to be such a jerk about it!
I gave up twittering .
I tried to go back, but I just found the layout confusing now.
I would love to say “Hey, I got my shit together!”
But, that is only 1/4 % true. ( I took a survey, don’t doubt me)
I am starting counselling Thursday, perhaps I can raise the shit level…
Wait, that sounded really wrong…
At least I have kept my humor?
Listen, jerk, you are getting on my nerves now.
Anyway, this new blog is just one big happy, sad, manic blog.
I am just going to write.
Some stuff is going to funny, some is gonna be sad, and some is gonna be what it is….
Yes, this is one of the last kind….