Target Store Now Contains Nuts

There is a big debate over bathroom usage here in the United States right now.

I am not getting into that, because no matter what side of the bathroom door you come down on, somebody is going to send you hate mail.

Call me a coward (Hey, I didn’t mean that literally!) but just not something I am going to debate, sorry if it disappoints you, but it really isn’t the point of this blog post anyhow.

I believe in the right for you to believe in whatever it is you do, but what I find intolerable is this:

If you really are a pastor then there are plenty of churches, or you could rent a private building or buy some air time/radio time to do your preaching in/on.

But storming into the Local Target?

And what the heck good will this little one person crusade do anyway?

Do you really think the vast hordes (in this case there weren’t any) of shoppers are now going to leave in droves clutching small children in their arms and telling everyone not to look back?

 

I have known some great pastors and they ain’t wasting their time preaching nonsense at Target.

They are worried about the teen aged kid in their congregation that is clinging to life in the ICU after a motorcycle accident and comforting the family.

They are making visits to elderly congregation members who can no longer make it to services.

They are giving of themselves in a hundred ways you never see.

So, no, I am not here to bash any real preachers.

But I don’t think  a smug woman or a man walking into a public store acting like a  fool in the name of ‘religion’ is really ‘preaching’.

All she managed to do was get a few seconds of fame and accomplished nothing of any lasting value or significance.

 

Exhausted

Not another one!

Yes, but this one doesn’t have anything to do with the Beatles or Star Wars.

Well, that is a plus, anyway. What will you be mocking today?

Pit Bull and Zumba!

Pit bulls that Zumba?

Just read the parody!

I’m Feeling so Exhausted (Tune to: “Exotic” by Pitbull)

 

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtropics

I hope I don’t fall down (I’m old)

Trying to keep up, let’s go (Pant)

Help me not to need a hypo

(Dizzy now)

I’m feeling so exhausted

 

I’m like the dough boy

Feeling more dead then alive

But I better get with it

And just work through the pain

I’ll be more dead then alive

But, that’s okay; totally into it

Every breath feels like it’s my last

But, how else to get rid of this ass?

Unless I zumba every day

Thunder thighs are not funny

Crash

 

I may look rather pitiful

Dancing for all to see

But if I want less of me

I‘ll shake it for all to see

Pant..pa..pa..pant

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtopics

I hope I don’t fall down

Trying to keep up, let’s go

Help me not to need a hypo

I’m feeling so exhausted

Dizzy girl

I’m feeling so exhausted

 

Not sure how much farther I can go

But I’ll give it my best shot, for sure

I may stop just for a minute

Lay down on the floor and grab a pillow

Got water by the boat loads

Hurt my tootsies, right knee, and ear lobe

From hurt, to pain, to hospital

No more excuses, cop-outs so I said yes

This routine made me a liar

The whole thing makes me want to retire

Misunderstood and damn tired

It’s a fact my muscles are on fire

 

I may look rather pitiful

Dancing for all to see

But if I want less of me

I‘ll shake it for all to see

Pant..pa..pa..pant

 

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtropics

I hope I don’t fall down

Trying to keep up, let’s go

Help me not to need a hypo

I’m feeling so exhausted

Dizzy girl

Feeling so exhausted

 

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtropics

I hope I don’t fall down

Trying to keep up, let’s go

Help me not to need a hypo

I’m feeling so exhausted

Dizzy girl

Feeling so exhausted

Now here is the real version:

So how are you feeling? Not exhausted I hope.

 

 

 

Hell No!

I wrote another parody.

Why? Did I hear you ask?

Because it is my blog and I can, why else?

“Hell No” to the tune of “Hello” By Lionel Richice

I’ve avoided you a million times
And always me you find
Telling me about your funky dreams, until I want to cry
Run away and hide
I don’t want to see you
Hanging around my door
Hell no!
You are not who I’m looking for


I can see strangeness in your eyes
A psychopathic smile
I have a feeling you are wanted
Somewhere in this countryside
I cannot understand a thing you say
You scare me in what you do
And I want to get away from you

Hell no to you

I long to get you out of here
And yell at you time and time again
How much you scare
Sometimes I feel like lying low
Hell no!
I just want you to go


Because I wonder what the hell you are
Why you do the things you do
Can’t you go somewhere you Looney?
Is the law after you?
Tell me how to get away so far
I just gotta get away from you
Let me start by saying goodbye to you
Hell no!
You are not what I’m looking for!
Because I wonder what the hell you are
Why you do the things you do
Can’t you go somewhere you Looney?
Is the law after you?
Tell me how to get away far
I just gotta get away from you

Now here is the real saner version:

Is there something you are trying to avoid? Just say, “Hell no.

 

 

I Am Too a Lady, Damnit!

Everyone knows that Facebook tests are the most accurate and reliable source to find out  how this or that you are.
No, I am not on acid, why do you ask?
Recently, I took the: How lady-like are you test.
I failed at least I think I did?
Those folks on Facebook like to positive spin everything, but I know the truth, if you are trying to find out how lady-like you are then the aim of the test is to get 100% lady-like.
This is what I did get:
“You are one of the guys”
“OK, so you are not the classiest lady, but you are all fun.
Your friends are never bored with you around and it is your job to teach those girly girls to learn how to loosen up a bit”
Up to this point, I really thought I was lady-like?
I love make-up, shoes, and prefer a dress or skirt to jeans or slacks. I have tried to be gentle and kind most of my life.
I will admit , however, to having a sarcastic sense of humor at times, that I have been known to swear some, and I on occasion been known to say something inappropriate.
I am glad Facebook makes these test up or I would forever be deluded into thinking I was pretty damn lady-like.

Have you taken a Facebook test? Happy with the results?

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Jump For Joy clip art - vector clip art online, royalty free ...

I am not a big Katy Perry fan.
But, when I zumba one of the routine is to “Roar” and after awhile you cannot help but learn the lyrics.

Now, I will admit the part about “I got the eye of the tiger/dancing through the fire” makes little sense to me.

But, I identify with a bit of it.

This for example: “I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sit quietly, agree politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice”

And this: “You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now”

I am,from time to time,going to rock that boat. (It needs rocking from time to time)
I do have a choice and that choice is to not be held down, because, frankly, I have had enough.
I know my worth and once a woman knows that, then they “can see it all” and will take nothing less than respect from now on.

What is your definition of respect? Are you going to roar? Make sure it is not in the library.

Sad Little Girl Gets Kicked in the Ass.

If you have ever had self-esteem issues, but are constantly trying to get over them your dialogue with yourself may look something like this: (If you are sane, maybe not)

Sad little Rachael girl: I can’t do that people will be mad at me if I do what I want, when I want, and how I want.

Kickyouinthe@ss Rachael: They are still mad at you when you do it their way, when they say, and how they say. You might as well do what you want and find people who respect that.

Sad little Rachael girl: I want to be happy and I can’t, so I will brood until I am miserable instead.

Kickyouinthe@ss Rachael: And this helps you how, girl?

Sad little Rachael girl: If I could make this person love and respect me, then I would be happier.
Kickyouinthe@ss Rachael: If you cannot be happy on your own or respect yourself, then you will never be made happy and you cannot make anyone, anywhere, at anytime do what you want them to! You can and must control yourself.
Sad little Rachael girl: I am afraid to try.

Kickyouinthe@ss Rachael: Now, Girl we are all afraid, the difference is that happy people go ahead anyway and find that most of their fears were unfounded. So you get out there and do what you need to do. You’ll be okay, promise.


Are you super confident, working on it, or have a long way to go? You’ll make it, I promise!

Another New Year

A couple more days and it will be a brand new year.
Last year people made promises to do better this year and like all the years before they failed at some of those resolutions.
They didn’t take off the weight, give up cigars, or learn a new language as they planned.
What they did was hope and without hope life is not very pleasant.
So, now we will have a brand new year of hopes.
A brand new year mingled with both smiles and tears, times of great joy and times of mind numbing sameness, but mostly a new year filled with hopes and dreams.
I hope your new year is more happy than sad.
That in this brand new year you’ll laugh more than you will cry.
That you’ll embrace the promise of joy in this new year and to forget the regrets of the past one.
A very Happy New Years to you all !