“To Thine Own Self Be True”-Hamlet

happy lady in flowers

I am grateful today for getting back on track.
I lost a lot to depression and am coming back to a lot of things I dropped the ball on while struggling with my own selfworth.

I am writing on my blog again after almost two year absence from it.

I wonder why I stopped?
I love writing.

I am Zumba-ing once again and I am really enjoying it.

Working on eating better, just need to tune out the bacon that keeps calls my name…

I finding the joy in little things like music, laughter, and just being more aware of things around me, and not being in my own head so much.

My discovery is : that it is not the doing that stops me, it is the thinking about the doing.
Once, I get started, things get a rhythm and it is easier to stay committed.

I truly am starting to be grateful for every moment of my life.

xoxox
The Silly Redhead

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No Princess for me, thank you.

Athena with sword

Some women want to be princesses, I don’t.
Princess just sit around all day waiting for someone to rescue them.
You have to kiss frogs.
You get cursed and chased by old hags.
The prince’s only job besides rescuing you and kissing you awake is to stand there and smile a dopey smile.

Goddesses on the other hand have real power!
They turn men who displease them into frogs!
They banish bitches from their court.
And they are worshiped 24/7 by men who wait on them hand and foot.

If your going to pick a fantasy ladies, pick the right one!  😉

 

Just a bit of silliness from a  crazy chick…

Cha..cha…changes…

pexels-photo-248023.jpeg

I have come to the conclusion that no one can fully understand me, my pain, my sorrows, my insecurities, and so forth and so on…

I think it is a mistake to expect people to do that.

Hell, we don’t even fully understand ourselves do we?

I am not saying I should not to reach out for help.

But, I have to be ready to hear solutions and take advice and to not think I’m so different/special that nothing that works for the vast majority would ever work for me.

I’m not implying  I should  let people bully me, either.

Some people’s idea of giving advice is to try and bully people into doing things their way, this is hardly helpful.

It is really up to me what advice or counsel  I heed or disregard.

I struggle with many things, so I get that life is very hard and when you couple that with depression or any other type of mental illness it is even harder.

But, I know in my own mind, that it is really up to me to change and not for others to change me.

It is not that easy and if it was then it would not be that big of a problem.

But, I reject the idea I  cannot change and embrace all those cha…cha…changes I need to make.

Have you been facing some cha…cha…changes? How is it going?

 

 

I am Grateful for Every Moment

I plan on making this a weekly post. 
As the New Year began to approach I thought it important to look for things to be grateful for and so I started writing a Grateful /Discovery journal.
Since I struggle with depression it seemed like a way to seek out some positive aspects of life and to try and discover myself a bit more.
This piece falls on the discovery side written as a poem.
I am grateful for the lessons, discoveries, and pure moments of joy this live has to offer.
pexels-photo-695644.jpeg
“There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold…
Carry your candle, run to the darkness…
Hold out your candle for all to see it…
Take your candle, and go light your world ”
– Chris Rice-
Candle without a flame
I have been like a candle without a flame
Cold and dark
Unable to see
Wrapped up in darkness
Unable to shineBut, if you’ll give me
Another chance to share
I’ll hold out my candle
Humble and asking
For your light to ignite mine

I have shut myself up
Afraid of the dark
Much more so of the light
Living in twilight
A solitary soul

We cannot receive what we will not share
So if you light my candle
I will pass that light on
Hurting and wounded as I may be
I will choose to shine

So, have you made any new discoveries? 

Have something you are grateful for?

Who are you…who …who?

stalking

I debated if I wanted to return to blogging or not?

It has only been about 2 years since I last posted.

Boy, time gets away from you don’t it?

I guess I could have come back earlier….

After all  I  am divorced , depressed, broke, and miserable.

Who wouldn’t want to read about that?

Yeah, that was sarcasm.

Sure I will keep trying…

You don’t have to be such a jerk about it!

I gave up twittering .

I tried to go back, but I just found the layout confusing now.

I would love to say “Hey, I got my shit together!”

But, that is only 1/4 % true. ( I took a survey, don’t doubt me) 

I am starting  counselling Thursday, perhaps I can raise the shit level…

Wait, that sounded really wrong…

At least I have kept my humor?

Listen, jerk, you are getting on my nerves now.

Anyway, this new blog is just one big happy, sad, manic blog.

I am just going to write.

Some stuff is going to funny, some is gonna be sad, and some is gonna be what it is….

Yes, this is one of the last kind….   :/

Target Store Now Contains Nuts

There is a big debate over bathroom usage here in the United States right now.

I am not getting into that, because no matter what side of the bathroom door you come down on, somebody is going to send you hate mail.

Call me a coward (Hey, I didn’t mean that literally!) but just not something I am going to debate, sorry if it disappoints you, but it really isn’t the point of this blog post anyhow.

I believe in the right for you to believe in whatever it is you do, but what I find intolerable is this:

If you really are a pastor then there are plenty of churches, or you could rent a private building or buy some air time/radio time to do your preaching in/on.

But storming into the Local Target?

And what the heck good will this little one person crusade do anyway?

Do you really think the vast hordes (in this case there weren’t any) of shoppers are now going to leave in droves clutching small children in their arms and telling everyone not to look back?

 

I have known some great pastors and they ain’t wasting their time preaching nonsense at Target.

They are worried about the teen aged kid in their congregation that is clinging to life in the ICU after a motorcycle accident and comforting the family.

They are making visits to elderly congregation members who can no longer make it to services.

They are giving of themselves in a hundred ways you never see.

So, no, I am not here to bash any real preachers.

But I don’t think  a smug woman or a man walking into a public store acting like a  fool in the name of ‘religion’ is really ‘preaching’.

All she managed to do was get a few seconds of fame and accomplished nothing of any lasting value or significance.

 

Exhausted

Not another one!

Yes, but this one doesn’t have anything to do with the Beatles or Star Wars.

Well, that is a plus, anyway. What will you be mocking today?

Pit Bull and Zumba!

Pit bulls that Zumba?

Just read the parody!

I’m Feeling so Exhausted (Tune to: “Exotic” by Pitbull)

 

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtropics

I hope I don’t fall down (I’m old)

Trying to keep up, let’s go (Pant)

Help me not to need a hypo

(Dizzy now)

I’m feeling so exhausted

 

I’m like the dough boy

Feeling more dead then alive

But I better get with it

And just work through the pain

I’ll be more dead then alive

But, that’s okay; totally into it

Every breath feels like it’s my last

But, how else to get rid of this ass?

Unless I zumba every day

Thunder thighs are not funny

Crash

 

I may look rather pitiful

Dancing for all to see

But if I want less of me

I‘ll shake it for all to see

Pant..pa..pa..pant

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtopics

I hope I don’t fall down

Trying to keep up, let’s go

Help me not to need a hypo

I’m feeling so exhausted

Dizzy girl

I’m feeling so exhausted

 

Not sure how much farther I can go

But I’ll give it my best shot, for sure

I may stop just for a minute

Lay down on the floor and grab a pillow

Got water by the boat loads

Hurt my tootsies, right knee, and ear lobe

From hurt, to pain, to hospital

No more excuses, cop-outs so I said yes

This routine made me a liar

The whole thing makes me want to retire

Misunderstood and damn tired

It’s a fact my muscles are on fire

 

I may look rather pitiful

Dancing for all to see

But if I want less of me

I‘ll shake it for all to see

Pant..pa..pa..pant

 

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtropics

I hope I don’t fall down

Trying to keep up, let’s go

Help me not to need a hypo

I’m feeling so exhausted

Dizzy girl

Feeling so exhausted

 

I need to cool down

I’m feeling so exhausted

Zumbaing right now

Flashes hotter than subtropics

I hope I don’t fall down

Trying to keep up, let’s go

Help me not to need a hypo

I’m feeling so exhausted

Dizzy girl

Feeling so exhausted

Now here is the real version:

So how are you feeling? Not exhausted I hope.