I found this piece I had written when I still worked at that grocery store, the one that I had mentioned in my last blog post. Since I had nothing else, I thought why not post it? And so, I have.
Since starting my current job of providing my community with life sustaining foodstuffs at a fair price (Okay, I’m a grocery clerk) I have become a liar.
Sure, I have lied before, but never daily unless it was football season where I’d pretend to be interested.
Every day is full of lies and is fact a requirement for keeping the job.
When someone asks you, “How is your day going?” The correct answer does not resemble the truth. That is how I lost the last 6 jobs.
When you first arrive a manger greets you with a “How is Rachael today?”
If you want to keep your job, you don’t say, “It was great until I got this sucky job”
Nope, you lie and say something like “It is just peachy.”
Just make sure you don’t say it too sarcastically.
Although, evidence seems to contradict it, the managers just may be bright enough to catch on, so be careful.
Through out the day you will be required to lie.
Several times in fact.
Customer one: “How are you today?” Correct answer: “I’m just great, how are you?”
Truthful answer: “How the hell do you think? I’m a 46-year-old who couldn’t land a real job, my life sucks.”
Customer Two: “Sorry, I was so much trouble.” Correct answer: “No problem, glad to help” Truthful answer: “So, am I.”
Customer Three: “Sorry, but you could help find such and such?” (They don’t really sell such and such at the store; it’s an example) Correct answer: “Of course sir/miss/madam I’d be happy to do that for you” Truthful answer: “Can’t you read? See those signs above the aisle…Look up, problem solved.”
Customer Four: “Why are you trying to cheat me?” Correct answer: “The cashier must have made a mistake we will gladly refund your money” Truthful answer: “Are you really that dumb? Do you really think we spend our time trying to figure out how to cheat you out of .99 cents?”
Customer Five: “Sorry, to have to pay for these $55.99 worth of groceries all in pennies.” Correct answer: “That is alright, money, is money after all” Truthful answer: “I am sorry, too! Now I’ll be counting down my drawer until midnight! Don’t you people know the concept of a bank?”
And there you have it a glimpse into my days a grocery clerk, which were, thankfully short-lived. Do you have to lie on your job? Do you just lie for fun?