Posted in The insane rants

The Mushroom Rant.

Young couple furiously shouting at each other. - stock photo

I recently came across a forum that is entitled “I rant”ย  I was immediately jealous because I had nothing to rant about, ironic ain’t it given this blogs name? But, not having anything legitimate to rant about is not going to stop me and so I bring you the mushroom rant.

raw healthy fresh mushrooms - stock photo

I hate ….mushrooms! Yes, call me irrational….call me crazy….

Now wait a minute that was just a figure of speech!

Where was I?… Oh yeah, mushrooms, they are either slimy( canned) or filthy and no matter how you brush them off they still taste like dirt!

Why do we have to have mushrooms, filthy little fungus!

Why don’t they just crawl back under the dead tree in the woods they came from? Huh?

They serve no useful purpose.

Pizza triangle shape, with mozzarella cheese and several ingredients on it. Airbrush illustration. On white background with clipping path included. - stock photo

Oh, yeah there are people out there who pretend to like them put them on their pizza and all….but, I bet they just think they are all badass, because they ate the closest thing to dirt without actually having to eat dirt.

Some mushrooms will kill you, can’t trust them!

They look all bright and pretty, but they are poison, I tell you-POISON!

You might think that wow those colorful mushrooms will brighten up my stir-fry and then you’ll be dead. Damn fungus!

Group of toadstools in the forest (horizontally) - stock photo

So, how about you do you rant? How do you feel about mushrooms?

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Author:

I am me and nobody else. One of a kind just like the rest of the world.

6 thoughts on “The Mushroom Rant.

  1. It’s weird–mushrooms that grow in our yard completely disgust me, and I can’t stand eating raw mushrooms, but yet I will use canned mushrooms in my Chicken Marsala and occasionally on pizza. Guess that means I only like my dirt on certain occasions…

  2. I’m 100% with you on this one. I am extremely non-picky with my food, but mushrooms are on my “no go” list. I can sort of tolerate them on pizza if they’re surrounded by other stuff like bacon, pepperoni and other deliciousness, but I would never voluntarily order them!

    1. Filthy fungus! Yes, bacon seems to cancel out the “dirt” effect of the mushrooms. Now, I want a pizza… ๐Ÿ˜‰

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