Bumper Sticker Nonsense.

Do you love bumper stickers? You know those little pieces of inspiration or political endorsements that you take with you.

Things like: “Vote for George W. Bush” or “My kid is an honor student at Central High”

The biggest problem with bumper stickers is once you stick them they stay stuck, even after W. is out of office an your honor student is 29 and a mother of three.

But, what about bumper stickers that don’t make it, because they are too long, too stupid, or too obvious?

Below, just for fun, are ten bumper stickers that never made it.

1.Smile if you have had extensive cosmetic dental surgery.

2.Have a nice day,TURD FACE!

3.Honk if you believe that all  American people have inalienable rights guaranteed in our Constitution that should not be infringed on by the government and that our government should remain a government for the people by the people so it won’t vanish from the earth.

4.Guns don’t kill people, people with guns kill people.

5.My other car went to my ex-wife in the divorce settlement.

6. Shakespeare is dead, get over it.

7.Come see beautiful down town  East Newark, NJ.

8.Big fat baby on board.

9.P.E.T.A. People eating tasty alligators.

10. Honk if you take illegal drugs or drive under the influence.

So, ever put a bumper sticker on your car? Ever try and take it off?

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Author:

I am me and nobody else. One of a kind just like the rest of the world.

18 thoughts on “Bumper Sticker Nonsense.

  1. I like #3.

    Here’s my first experience with putting on, and then trying to take off, a bumper sticker:

    Way back In 1974, when I was 21 and Knew It All, the then-President of our United States was being roasted on the nightly news broadcasts over something called “Watergate.” I never fully understood that whole business, beyond the fact that it had to do with a building called “Watergate,” and an alleged illegal entry into an office within that building, which was done in order to steal some private documents. This event had allegedly taken place at the order of President Nixon. After this clandestine business came to light, a Senate hearing was convened to determine whether the President had indeed done something wrong. A large number of audio recordings were entered into evidence during the hearing, recordings that had been made inside the Oval Office. These “Watergate tapes” were played during the hearings, to determine if our President had indeed ordered an illegal break-in and robbery.

    One day I read an article in a news magazine that included transcripts taken directly from the hearing, complete with some of the transcribed Oval Office recordings. When it came to our Commander-in-Chief’s portion of the recorded conversations, they were peppered throughout with the phrase (expletive deleted). As in: “Take that (expletive deleted) out and (expletive deleted) him right in the (expletive deleted) , before I (expletive deleted) and you find yourself royally (expletive deleted). Do you (expletive deleted) understand me, you (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted)?”

    DISCLAIMER: I made that quotation up, because after almost 40 years I cannot recall any of the (expletive deleted) sentences verbatim. I’m too lazy to do an online search for them, which I have no doubt I could easily and quickly do, if I only had the want-to. But that’s the general jist, as I remember it, of the (expletive deleted) conversations recorded in the office of the President during the Nixon Administration.

    After reading that news article, I said to my then-husband: “I wish they would just IMPEACH the (expletive deleted)!” My ex liked my quip so much, that he went down to the print shop and paid them to make up a bumper sticker to put on our truck. Oh it was a beautiful stroke for my ego, Rachael, seeing my off-hand comment immortalized on a red background, in big yellow letters:

    IMPEACH THE (EXPLETIVE DELETED)

    We got a lot of honking horns and a few middle-finger salutes as we drove around town with that classy sticker affixed to our rear bumper, during the remainder of the Senate hearings.

    BUT….. then came the day when a tearful U.S. President stood before the news media and, under the glare of bright lights, resigned from the office of the Presidency.

    I went right out and scraped and scraped and scraped and scraped. Finally that mean-spirited bumper sticker was gone, with only a few tattered bits of red and yellow to remind me of a sad-faced, disgraced President, a man we had elected to the highest office in our land, a man we had expected to be super-human, but who had turned out to be only a man, after all.

      1. I read this post of yours this morning, and I’ve been thinking about bumper stickers off and on all day. Why do you have that effect on me, Rachael? 😉

        One of my all-time favorite bumper stickers said: “You Need To Wag More And Bark Less.” Amen to that.

      2. Some of those bumper stickers speak to us. I am sending out telepathic messages to get people to read my blog, glad to have confirmation that it is working. 🙂

      3. I knew it! I was saying to they hubby just the other day, that I thought someone was trying to put thoughts in my head. Only I said it was probably the CIA. Who knew you had that much power? OMG the phone’s ringing, my great-grandson may have been born……

  2. I have never and will never put one on my car. Although, I do appreciate many of the ones I see and I love to stick them on the cars of people who I know will resent the message on the sticker.

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