Posted in The insane rants

Strange Twitter Profiles.

High resolution graphic of a Profile Icon.  Stock Photo - 8715064One of the reasons for a profile on any social media is to grab people’s attention, make them interested in you, and then hopefully they follow or friend you.

Twitter being a bit more edgy and much more egocentric than Facebook, saying you like kittens is not usually enough, so people try being clever, some succeed many do not.

There are the standard profiles: Name, links to their blogs, a cute icon, and the brave souls who post their real life photo. The wise person adds a cute tag to get noticed. They may add their occupation and hobbies.

Saying, “I’m working on a novel”, is no big deal at Twitter, everyone is working on a novel, book, music career, or something else as creative.

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Trying to be clever is not for everyone, however, as  seen in these catch phrases meant to get you to follow them:

I tell people to “F” off, get over it!- Ah, well, now ain’t you the nice one..I don’t particularly like being told to “F” off, so I’ll pass, thanks.

I’m an anti-social psychopathy- Good for you! You, do realize however this is SOCIAL media? Think I’ll just keep scrolling.

A stressed, overweight, undersexed. It is not necessary to tell people all your flaws..stressed and undersexed makes me think one thing: Grumpy! Not sure I would want to follow grumpy.

Animal loverLet’s just hope you meant that in the best sense of the word.

I’m a douchebagOkay, just moving on…

Fiction writer. Is that..enough?Why,no it isn’t, everyone here is some kind of writer didn’t you read the intro?

I’ll disappoint you. Ask my ex-wives.-I have enough problems with disappointments and if you can see a pattern, isn’t it up to you to contemplate change? I don’t want to ask any of your ex-wives, I’m  very willing to take you word for it. 

I murder people for fun & profit.-Sorry, no one I want bumped off  at present.

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I think I can be just as insane so, I came up with these, what do you think?

Mother of 10, wife to 2 ex-cons.

Father to many, husband to none.

I hate people and social media. I’m also paranoid.Therapist said to try social media, I hate that guy! Back, off man, I mean it , just back off!

I want to sell you things you don’t want.I endlessly tweet motivational quotes. I will constantly DM you.I get pissed off when people unfollow me.

I retweet everything! I expected you to do the same! I also favor everything!  Again,I expected you to do the same! Don’t expect any conversation.

I write novels that never get published. I spend all my time on Twitter.

I’m a 38-year-old paper boy, virgin, still lives with my mom. I like fantasy novels and want to become a Vulcan.


Do you have a catchy Twitter profile? Do you have a life? What gets you interested to follow someone on Twitter?

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Author:

I am me and nobody else. One of a kind just like the rest of the world.

15 thoughts on “Strange Twitter Profiles.

    1. Yes, it would be good to avoid that one. I think I would avoid them all. All that is but the guy who wants to be a Vulcan.If he existed, that would prove to be a writer’s gold mine, don’t you think?

  1. I only put goofy statuses on Twitter. Stuff that I think is funny. Then, when I do post the rare serious update, people are confused when they don’t get the joke.

  2. Oh, I love this! 😀 Only hope my latterly added ‘I don’t automatically follow back’ doesn’t make you want to unfollow me! 😉

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