First of all , I sincerely apologize to the insult your ears are about to receive.
I have complied a list of 3 of the stupidest Christmas song ever to mess with the sanity of Mankind and Womankind,too!
My first pick is: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas!
Although the cover art has nothing to do with the song WTH?
Is she praying to the hippo or that gaudy tree?
Look at that hippo is he from the Alps or something?
He looks stoned, perhaps it was the only way they could dress him up in that alpine suite and get him to sit on a stool?
I could swear in the first stanza she is saying Dinky Dink Toy?-What in the world?
I always thought of the 50’s as a family friendly kind of era!
The chorus to this song is very distributing!- I would not want that freaky kid creeping around the house anywhere, at anytime, for any reason!
The hippo is a vegetarian, that is what you got?- Great argument for feeling safe, you strange demented being you!
It can still bite your hand off, but being a vegetarian it would probably spit it out.That’s small comfort on the way to the ER.
Don’t let the ASPCA or PETA know about the hippo in that two car garage as they may disagree with your moronic belief that it is okay to keep a hippo in the garage standing in his own urine and feces, because a two car garage is definitely not big enough!
On to number two:All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
I admit it, when I was a kid I actually liked this song but kids are impressionable creatures and the more annoying something is the better a kid will like it!
The fake whistle through out this song loses its charm real fast!
No kid,unless a complete moron and completely toothless, is going to ask for their two front teeth. Even in the ancient years of the 1950’s kids were smart enough to know the teeth would grow back!
I think he should have asked for a personality, because he seems to be devoid of one.
He wants to Wish you a Merry Christmas, which he does and then says he can’t?
I want to shake him real hard and say, “You just did, stupid!”
I have to admit to liking the silly sound effects in the middle cause I am strange that way.
But, what was all that sneezing about? Is the kid a toothless moron with a cold?
Near the end of the song, the kid all but has a nervous break down about his inability to talk to Santa’s reindeers cause they can’t understand him?
Do Reindeer speak English?
Anyway, suck it up kid!– I understood you and you’re making a big deal out of nothing you pathetic loser!
Now last and most certainly the least: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus:
Right about now you are most likely sensing a pattern: all kid songs ,all around the 1950’s, only the one above was recorded in 1963 ,but that is close enough!
What could be more disturbing to a kid than watching his mom make out with Santa Clause?
My theory of the good old days and its innocence is shattered!
Tickling Santa under his bread-what kind a crap is that for a kid’s song!
Most kids would be trying to gouge their eyes out right about now, but not this sadistic brat she wants to see daddy witness the whole thing!
She will sit back and laugh while daddy cries his eyes out!-Nice!
Have any Christmas songs you just hate? Have you ever been scarred by seeing your mom or your dad making out with Santa?