Posted in The insane rants

The Dare Campaign.

A while back (two days ago) I wrote a blog post daring people to suggest ideas for this blog they would never dream of posting on their own.

I was stuck, running out of ideas!

A few people took pity on me and offered some suggestions.

Being a complete idiot, I decided as one guest suggested, “To roll with it” and actually write-up the post.

It may help you to understand where this insanity is coming from, if you read the comments at the end of the original post, so here is that post .

This is what I got: prejudice against flamingos, ex’s who hate pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments, something about eye patches, Daryl Hanna, and a movie called: “Kill Bill.”

I may be the only person to have resisted the temptation, but I never have seen the movie(s) Kill Bill, so that had to be Goggled.

So, below is the rambling insanity I came up with from those most interesting suggestions!

And, I am never going to dare anyone to do anything ever again!

STOPPING PREJUDICED AGAINST PINK PLASTIC FLAMINGO LAWN ORNAMENTS IS  EVERY ONES  RESPONSIBILITY! ( A public service announcement)

Now, you may be thinking that this issue has nothing at all to do with you, and is about as relevant as sporting an eye-patch in a misguided attempted to look like Daryl Hannah’s  character from “Kill Bill.”

But, you’d be wrong in thinking that it is not relevant to you and in thinking that a simple  eye-patch will turn you into Daryl Hannah. (A pirate, maybe)

Everyday, in this country, another pink flamingo lawn ornament is viciously attacked by irrational flamingo haters.

We’ve all seen it,a pink plastic flamingo missing its head or lying on the lawn, because it’s wire legs have been pulled from its body!

You probably just looked the other way, didn’t you?

Some of you, probably, even chuckled as you drove by! (You, flamingo hating,Bast**ds!)

Do you know how much it cost to replace those lawn ornaments each year!?

Do you know the toll it takes on mental health cost when hundreds of people are traumatized each summer by witnessing the decapitation of pink plastic flamingos?

You, see prejudice against pink plastic flamingos affects us all!

We have started a campaign to stop the abuse and discrimination against pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments called: “Just say no to abuse against pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments!”

You can get involved!  And you can  start by just saying, “No!” (I mean, the other just say no program worked wonders to stop drug abuse! )

And when you see an attack on an innocent flamingo, don’t look away, call the national hotline 1-800-just-sayn-otoa-buse-pink-flam-ingo.

Together we can end the hate!

So do you love lawn ornaments or hate them?  Does it depend on the type of ornament?  Have you seen Kill Bill or like me have you lived in happy oblivion to its existences?

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Author:

I am me and nobody else. One of a kind just like the rest of the world.

21 thoughts on “The Dare Campaign.

  1. BRILLIANT! BRAVO! I LOVE IT!

    I have a suggestion on your worthy “Just Say No to Pink Flamingo Abuse” campaign: If your neighbor has plastic pink flamingos in their yard, and you find them offensive, rather than decapitate them, Fedex them to my ex in Whitehouse Beach, Delaware. His name and address shall be provided when you call Rachael’s tollfree hotline. My ex hates plastic pink flamingos, but he will put them in his yard and feed and water them. Because he’s insane like that.

    1. If anyone one asks, I will be sure to tell them where they can send orphaned or abandoned plastic flamingos, no questions asked.

  2. Thank you for speaking out on this critical issue. Someone had to do it!

    I think people can put whatever they want in their yard as long as it’s not offensive to others. We live in a town that likes its yards just so. Quite picky. So to rebel a little, we have a gargoyle and a little Buddha in our front yard nestled among our bushes. Why? Because it’s our way of telling the city to “Take that.” Very passive-aggressive, I know. 🙂

    1. I thought it was about time someone brought this matter to the public’s attention! 😉
      In the Upper peninsula, “the yuppers”, ( that is the lower peninsula folks name for the upper peninsula folks), the weirder the lawn ornaments the better!
      You keep rebelling even if it is a passive-aggressive kind of way!
      Is the Buddha to protect you from the gargoyle or is the other way around?

      1. I lived in Bangor, Maine about 20 years ago, a couple of blocks away from the authors Stephen and Tabitha King’s house. They had black iron gargoyles atop the black iron fence posts that surround their mauve painted lady Victorian. People were forever stealing the gargoyles and then bringing them back, “no questions asked,” in response to the King’s public pleas.

      2. Little afraid of gargoyles,especially iron ones. What would you do with them after you stole them? Ah, why no Mr.King these only look like your black iron gargoyles, I bought them at a yard sale.

    2. Carrie – are you the Carrie of Stephen King fame? Anyway, whether you are or you aren’t, I like your style of passive-agressive rebelling. Years ago, before I met the man who is now my best-friend-hubby, he lived in an older brick house in Allentown, PA. The mortar was falling out of the bricks, so he had it repointed. The neighbors did not like the repointed look, and they demanded that he paint over the bricks. Which he did. He painted it yellow, with purple polka dots.

      No one bothered him after that, because then they realized that he was…. different. And a little scary.

      1. That is a great story! Good for him. A little more in-your-face than my timid rebellion. 🙂

        I wish I were the Carrie of Stephen King. Or at least related to Stephen King. That way my book could ride the tails of his success…

      2. A little white lie to sell your book? Such as, I was the inspiration for Carrie by Stephen K., now read my book.

  3. Loved this! We have a giant wooden windmill the Hubs’ dad made for us, which one cranky neighbor continually refers to as “yard art.” Nasty old man obviously has no sense of whimsey… 🙂

  4. I’m ashamed to say that I HAVE seen “Kill Bill” 1 & 2 every time it comes on TV. There’s something about the movies that draw me in. *sick, huh?* As far as the Pink Flamingos are concerned, I prefer….uh….nothing on my front lawn. Although, I will join in the fight to stop the abuse. Your post cracked me up, by the way. Well done, Rachael. 🙂

    1. Movies called Kill Bill? Are they anything like the Throw Mama From the Train movie? I haven’t seen any of those movies, not even Throw Mama, which is strange, if you knew my mother… but, Kill Bill? Never heard of that one. I think it’s been something like 7 years since I last watched a movie. You see, my attention span suddenly stopped working about 13 years ago. Around the turn of the millenium. Coincidence? I think not. Ever since then, I have been incapable of sitting and watching a whole movie.

      The only lawn ornament we currently have is my hubby’s motorcycle in front of our house. In the back yard we have his fishing boat, and his 24 ft 5th wheel travel trailer, and his little motorcycle hauler trailer to hook up to the back of the 5th wheel, and the 3/4 ton Chevy pickup truck that my hubby uses to haul his toys around with. That’s it for lawn ornaments. Oh, and hubby’s big gas barbecue grill is on the back porch. Nothing feminine at all. You wouldn’t even know a woman lived here, from the look of our yard.

      As for the windmills? I cut them all down, of course. I am Lady Quixote, after all!

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