Snippets of bad 3.

Because of the popularity of my snippets ( Very heavy sarcasm folks)

I have once again graced this blog with another entry.

Misguided?  Perhaps.

Sometimes, I just want to write what I like.

Spaceship interior. Funny cartoon and  illustration. Stock Photo - 7132103
Captains log: After a long day of camera tilts,a too tight girdle, and a toupee that kept slipping  -I am ready for bed!

Science fiction

It was another exciting day on The Star Ship Galaxy.

Captain Girdle Toupee  was sitting in the captain’s chair gazing out at the stars as they whizzed by.

His first officer, Mr. Spocket, looked gravely at the captain and said, “Sir, I do believe we are in for some turbulence due to it being called for in the script.”

“Not another camera tilt?”,the Captain groaned.

“I am afraid so, sir”

“Alright then everyone find something to hang on to!”

“Sorry to interrupt captain”, butted in Uheardof, “but we are receiving a number of distress calls!”

“They will have to wait until after the camera tilt”

“Okay…. here it comes-hold on!”

“Okay, Uheardof, about those distress calls.”

“Well, captain they must  have been related to the camera tilt , because the distress calls have all vanished.”

“Why does this have to happen every time there is a camera tilt?”, inquired Captain Toupee .

Suddenly,  Spotty, the engineer appeared and exclaimed,  “Captain, I don’t think the engines can take another camera tilt ! There has been 3 bloody ones in a row!”

“Take it up with the script guys!’ , snapped the Captain, angrily.

stock photo : First Thanksgiving Pilgrim child holding Bible, with Mayflower ship - a circa 1919 vintage illustration by Ellen Clapsaddle
Come aboard the Mayflower! See the new world!
Meet interesting pilgrims!
Roomy accommodations! Great food!

Historical

The scene: The Mayflower

The time: A long, long, long time a go.

“Well, Mary Kate how goes the voyage with thee?” asked Bishop Turtledrop.

“Besides the baby puking on my dress, the bad food, all the sickness aboard the ship , the overcrowded conditions, the fact that we women have no rights, and that modern toilets have not yet been invented?”

“Yes, I mean besides all that.”

“Pretty good so far, I thank, thee  most honored bishop.” , said Mary sarcastically.

“Good, good carry on”, said the clueless bishop,”Pray, excuse me as I believe I must vomit over yonder rail.”

Greek ship stencil Stock Photo - 10380901
Come aboard! Adventure and death await you!

Epic voyage.

Singedbad the sailor was ready for anything!

After, defeeting the 7 footed podotropomus, he knew he could handle anything this voyage would throw at him.

It had been 69 days 11 minutes since his uncle Goofyus had sent him on the quest to seek for the land of a million golden apples.

These were not ordinary apples, but apples that possessed healing properties, said to even raise the dead, if the dead had not been dead too long.

Singedbad was becoming discouraged they had been to many islands with no success at all!

In fact a third of his crew were dead and buried!

They had found many apples ,but no matter how soon after Singebad had slain a sailor- the apples did nothing to revive him!

“Oh, well”, thought Singedbad, “only 12 more islands to go!”

Architectural detail  Stock Photo - 12426447
“Sorry, dude it just tasted like an apple….”
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Author:

I am me and nobody else. One of a kind just like the rest of the world.

16 thoughts on “Snippets of bad 3.

      1. I suppose mediocre minds could think alike as well, but I like great minds better so we will go with yours! 😉

  1. Bhahahaha….I had to read this out loud to my family and daughter’s boyfriend. Hilarious, Rachael. Singedbad…hahaha!!

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