Posted in The insane rants

50 ways to lose your cookies.

I know-I know-not another one! Afraid so. ….

My husband suggested this one so you can blame him!

I gave you all out there a chance to think of something…but instead you’re getting this…

There must be 50 ways to loose your cookies ( Tune: Must be 50 ways to loose your lover. By Paul Simon)

The problems starts  inside my gut at some of the things I have seen

Many things make me queasy – things that on TV I have seen

Pink slime, zombies eating brains, and all the other gross things in between

There must be 50 ways to loose your cookies

The more I see the more I long for the old days

Where no blood spurts came from machine gun bullet sprays

Back in the 1950’s where things were not so crude

Instead of cop shows were the suspect end up as dog food

There must be 50 ways to loose your cookies

You just knife them in the back, Jack

Bury them alive in a dam, Sam

No need to censor any stuff, Russ

The airwaves need to be free

Shove em’ off the bus, Gus

So much mindless violent stuff

Just lob off below the knee, Lee

That’s the success of cable TV

The violence causes me such pain

I wish there was away to turn the clock back once again

I would appreciate at that -but I am afraid the networks show no restraint

Which leaves 50 ways to loose your cookies

Why don’t we just see the line up for tonight

Zombies movies and horror flicks are all there seems to be in sight

100  channels and not a good show in sight

I guess I’ll settle in and watch “Fright Night”

There must be 5o ways to loose your cookies

You just knife them in the back, Jack

Bury em’ alive in a dam, Sam

No need to censor any stuff, Russ

The airwaves need to be free

Shove em’ off the bus, Gus

So much mindless violent stuff

Just lob off below the knee, Lee

That’s the success of cable TV

And now Paul Simon and “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”

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Author:

I am me and nobody else. One of a kind just like the rest of the world.

6 thoughts on “50 ways to lose your cookies.

  1. Another goldie. Love the lyrics, but I must confess to being a lover of some of these violent TV shows. “Justified” is one of my favorites, and let’s just say it’s got a pretty high body count…

    1. I can not do anything violent-big baby! My son is a fan of horror movies-but I can not handle that.
      My husband says it is not a good movie unless something is being blown up or there is a least one car chase.
      Katie and I watch wimpy stuff.

  2. I’m a big fan of Paul Simon, so it was fun singing along with the new lyrics. I’m with you when it comes to horror movies. My husband loves them. Give me the Hallmark channel. Confesson: I do read thrillers, but not the horrible kind. :))

    1. Thank you it always fun to write these and I have to admit a little easier with the guideline of the song lyrics from the original song to help, then just getting stuff out of my deranged mind on paper, although that is fun, too!
      Thanks so much for stopping by!

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