I’m funny-darn it!
Life would go so much better for me if you all would all just agree that I am funny, darn it!
Would it hurt you to admit that? Would it? WOULD IT?
Arguing with your guests is probably not the best way to make friends and influence people…..I need another approach –be right back!
Okay-I am back!
Chapter 1 of “How to win friends and influence people” by Mr. Dale Carnegie
…..Yes, this is a real book! One I am always praising to my family and trying to get them to read, but they promptly ignore my advice and go back to reading “The Hunger Games”
Anyway, to get back to what I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me…
Chapter one says: “If you want to gather honey don’t kick over the bee hive.”
I do not want any honey and I would never kick over a bee hive!
It is probably a metaphor of some kind…hmmm…honey is sweet and sticky and kicking over a beehive means you’re a moron…hmmm…no, I just don’t get it!
Let’s read a little farther…
On page 8 it says “…criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home…”
This one I think I get: Pigeons poop on everything, so criticizing people is crappy and the crap will return home.
Moving on to chapter 2 entitled: The big secret of dealing with people.
Finally! I will find out the big secret of how to get along with people!
So, on page 18 it says: “Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.”
So to deal with people you have to… desire to be great at… Now just you wait a cotton picking minute, mister!- You just keep your shorts on!
Not sure I want my kids to read this book anymore!?
I think I will just join the rest of the family and start reading “Hunger Games.”