I have been thinking about all the bad writing out there and thought, “I want a piece of that action!”
So, below are some snippets of writing so bad it should be good…. (Don’t try and figure that out, as it could cause irreversible brain damage.)
THE HAUNTED HOUSE
It was a dark and stormy night….. The thundered crashed!
Lighting streaked across the sky exposing a full moon…. Chad ran in from the storm shaking the wet from his clothes.
When suddenly an eerie voice called out: “Don’t look in the basement!”
Trembling with fear and wet Chad makes his way toward the basement….
THE LOVE STORY
Where do I begin to tell the story of Brad and his love Lisa?
It is a great story of how great a love can be.
It is a very lovely story that is older than the sea.
It will fill your heart.
It fills Brad’s heart with very special things…with angel songs…. with wild imaginings…
It is a story of Lisa never having to say she is sorry and of Brad having to say it over and over again….
Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away lived a little elf named ,strangely enough, Elfie.
Elfie was a happy little elf who loved to skip through the forest and collect nuts.
He collected a lot of nuts through the years.
Some nuts were in bad shape, having been cracked and crushed by mad squirrels.
Some of the nuts looked good from the outside but they were only an empty shell that had been glued back together.
But no matter what shape they were in Elfie loved them all!
THE VICTORIAN NOVEL
It was well understood that Mr. Petergrass was a cad.
His mother knew it, of course she did, how could she not?
His father knew it, himself being a cad, it was only natural that his only son would take after him and be a cad, too.
His sister knew it, she despised him for it, how could she not, being a sad shy sickly creature who was always so meek and mild.
A sensible creature who never spoke a word to anyone unless formally addressed and then only in a barely audible whisper .
Penelope or pep, as they called her, was the darling of the family.